I've always wondered what it would be like to work at Starbucks. As a lover of their various lattes, iced teas and moreish warm food, it would be glorious to get to stand mere inches from these bastions of deliciousness at all times, but on the other hand, I would have to deal with the most annoying thing in the world: other people.
Of course, I've heard that some people are pleasant and agreeable, but when it comes to food, people can change real quick. They can be rude, they can be difficult, and they can ask you to go ridiculously above and beyond in the old mantra that the "customer is always right". Starbucks baristas recently took to Reddit to air out their grievances over the craziest drinks they've ever had to make, and boy: there are some real doozies in here.
1. Calorie overload
Redditor kayteeee told us about one customer that, let's say, had a bit of a sweet tooth. They had an "iced venti caramel macchiato. 15 [pumps vanilla syrup], made with HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM, barely any ice, one shot, add whip, extra [caramel drizzle]". That's like a dessert in a glass, and not in a good way.
2. Making a mocha-ry of the system
ComputerPaint on Reddit told us about how one customer took a White Chocolate Mocha... and turned it into something crazy. It was "a hot venti White Mocha with 10 Sugar in the Raw, and 10 pumps of white mocha... So thick".
3. A very odd daily routine
It's one thing to have a quirky order every once in a while, but kayala81 had a customer who ordered a "venti 9 shot, 1 pump mocha, nonfat, no whip, with exactly 4 shakes of cinnamon stirred in [...] every single day".
4. That sounds rather Splenda-d
One of the enduring themes of these crazy Starbucks orders is that the customers in question often have a bit of a sweet tooth. That's certainly true in the case of this duo served by Redditor BionicBeans, who said they ordered "two trenta green teas with 43 and 47 Splendas respectively". Talk about sweetening the deal.
5. Pretty please, with sugar on top?
Continuing with this weird Splenda trend, an anonymous Redditor revealed how a customer once ordered: "[a] venti vanilla latte, nonfat milk, whipped cream, 7 Splendas; 6 mixed in, one sprinkled on top of the whipped cream 'to make it crunchy.'"
6. How would you remember all of that?
Barista-turned-Redditor hbizzy can recall a really complicated, really specific order that a customer made one time. What would "an iced, Ristretto, 10 shot, venti, with breve, 5 pump vanilla, 7 pump caramel, 4 Splenda, [and] poured, not shaken" even taste like?
7. Is there such a thing as too much chai? Yes
We're used to seeing customers want to see a few more pumps than usual in their drinks, but this is just ridiculous! Redditor stephmook said:"[The drink was a] 25 pump iced chai... she pretty much wanted the syrup over ice. It was nasty, and [the customer] got angry when we charged her for extra chai."
8. Two drinks in one
I don't know why you'd want to have to different flavors in one cup at Starbucks, but despite JMan719's best efforts, one customer insisted on just that. The Redditor revealed: "I once I had to make a 'half caramel machiatto, half hazelnut latte.' I really did try to lead her in the direction of a caramel macchiato with hazelnut syrup, but nope. She wanted half one drink and half another."
9. Now that's just wrong
What's worse than combining two coffee flavors together? Well, that's a question that Bwat4ou can answer quite aptly. "A venti black coffee with 2 chai tea bags. Simple. Gross," they revealed. I'm quite curious: if your heart didn't explode from all the caffeine, what would that actually taste like?
10. This barista really met their matcha
Redditor pangirl99 said that a customer once tried to order a "venti 7 pump vanilla soy 12 scoop matcha 180 degree NO FOAM green tea latte". It very quickly went awry, however: "Another partner had to make this drink about four times because he kept saying there's too much foam, or there wasn't enough matcha".
Well, folks, there you have it. While everyone's entitled to make their drink the way they want it, these 10 stories show that sometimes, you can take things too far. Now, you don't have to feel bad when you ask for that extra pump of vanilla.