Wine-filled stockings are the best way to get totally wasted this holiday season

Now that summer is long gone and Halloween is done and dusted, it’s time to look ahead to the holiday season. As the nights grow cold and long, we can look forward to cosy evenings by the fire, massive meals and delicious hot drinks. The holiday season might mean a lot of things, but one thing it’s pretty much synonymous with is the idea of family.

With countless Christmas movies revolving around bringing everyone together for carols, crackers and gifts while Thanksgiving is all about being thankful for the people around you, the chances are that you’ll spend a few days this years with all of your extended family, with everybody you love in one building.

And I don’t know about you, but the only way I’m going to be able to survive that is through copious amounts of alcohol.

As much as you love your mom, dad, and siblings alongside various aunts, uncles and cousins, there’s a reason you only see them only a couple of times a year. Whether it’s your racist grandmother, your feuding aunts or a brother-in-law you just can’t stand, booze is very often the only reason you get through the holiday season without any burning any of your long-standing bridges.

But let’s say you’re not content just to bust out the champagne or have a dangerous amount of eggnog. For a second, close your eyes and imagine that you’d like to take your seasonal alcoholism to the next level. Maybe, you’d like something that will also make a pretty great gift.

There’s a pretty good chance that your active imagination just conjured up the Santa’s Flask, which you can be certain will be at the very top of my wish list this Christmas. Made by the company Party Flasks (who pretty much have a monopoly of creative festive flasks), it’s pretty much everybody’s dream gift: a stocking that can hold up to three bottles of wine.

No, people. This is not a drill. Do not adjust your sets. If you were looking for a festive way to get trashed over the holiday period, then I think this is a pretty fantastic solution. Even better, you can even get it with a clip, so you can hang your stocking next to those of your family, saying with little more than a gesture where your priorities lie this holiday season. Not convinced yet? Then maybe this very helpful video will help.

Now, if you absolutely need Santa’s Flask in your life (and I can’t see why you wouldn’t), then you can pick up one on Amazon for a nominal fee of just $20. That’s a small price to pay for what will be countless hours of glorious wine-drunkenness. Plenty of Christmas stories have imprinted on us the idea that giving is much better than receiving, but with Santa’s Flask, you can do both at the same time and feel pretty good.

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