While it can be a little awkward when you’re the one in the spotlight, getting to celebrate your birthday is always a wonderful time. Not only do you get to enjoy people singing to you as well as hundreds of Facebook posts, but you get to do so underneath a thick sheen of inebriation, as everyone is more than willing to ensure that you remain merry on your big day.
I know it’s hard sometimes, but in the midst of all that, I think it’s important to be thankful for the most important of your birthday: the celebration of another year of life with your closest friends and family. Ha ha, just kidding: of course, I’m talking about the birthday cake.
If you eat nothing but cake on literally any other day, everyone thinks you’re having a nervous breakdown, but on your birthday, you can chow down on the sugary goodness without fear of repercussion. Take your pick from Victoria Sponge, Red Velvet, or even an ice-cream cake if you’re feeling fancy, but I think birthdays represent a great opportunity to enjoy a bespoke-designed theme cake.
While I’d be okay with having a birthday cake without a specific theme now, back when I was a wee lad I would full-on throw a tantrum unless I had a Toy Story-themed cake. The thought of not getting to munch down on Buzz Lightyear’s marzipan face was literally too much for Six-year-old Me to bear, and I don’t know how bad it would have gotten if I had been presented with this quite horrific Minnie Mouse cake fail.
I don’t know about you guys, but while I enjoy cooking and absolutely love desserts, I won’t be caught dead baking at any point. While both processes involve making edible morsels using heat, baking is less cooking than it is frustrating, sort-of-consumable art, and I have enough disappointment in my life without contending with screwing up a gingerbread house for the umpteenth time.
By now, you’ve probably seen videos of dedicated moms or food artists recreating famous characters with seemingly little effort, but in reality, baking is a cruel and fickle mistress, and one Reddit user found this out the hard way when ordering a Minnie Mouse cake for their niece.
Before you ask: no, that’s not the cake. That’s what the cake should have looked like. We’ve all seen Minnie Mouse before: ribbon in the hair, a white and pink color scheme fit for a young girl’s birthday, plus a couple of mouse ears for thematic accuracy. Pretty simple, right?
It should have been. Reddit user eshan got something decidedly different back. Something that would make many a young girl burst into tears. Something that simply should not be. A baking abomination. Oh God, it’s horrifying!
It’s the cake version of telling your young one that Santa is real, and watching as their mushy, undeveloped mind struggles to process their new reality. Nobody should have to look at this on their birthday. Unsurprisingly, the internet had an absolute field day savaging this hilariously awful cake fail.
Of course, this Minnie Mouse cake is tragically, hilariously wide of the mark, but what I’d like to know is how this horrifying dessert from Hell came to be. Was it the result of an inexperienced chef? Attempting to find a cheap deal somewhere else? Whatever it is, I hope this Reddit user found their niece something nicer for her birthday in lieu of this.