Ah, McDonald’s. We’re all Lovin’ It, aren’t we? The delicious french fries, the soft drinks that somehow taste better than at any other fast food joint, and how can we forget delicious, delightful Chicken McNuggets? Today, though, I’d like to concentrate on the flagship burger at everyone’s favorite restaurant: the Big Mac.
Anything I could say about the Big Mac would probably go a long way toward explaining why I’m probably going to be single this Valentine’s Day. Shall I compare thine twin patties and unique sauce to a summer’s day? You had me at “sesame seed buns”. Long story short: getting a Big Mac is easily the main reason I get out of bed in the morning.
But as good as the Big Mac is (and it’s very good), it’s not unnatural for somebody to want more out of the double decker sandwich available at McDonald’s. It’s been 50 years since the Big Mac arrived on the McMenu, and McDonald’s released two new versions of the burger to commemorate that. But stay with me here; there’s a way you can improve your favorite burger, to make something called the ‘Grand Monster Mac’.
While the Grand Monster Mac sounds almost like the lead singer of a Sugarhill Gang tribute band that raps exclusively about McDonald’s, it’s in fact a secret menu hack that will take the twin patties you’ve come to expect from a Big Mac, and multiplies it by four. Yes, the Grand Monster Mac has eight patties for you to gobble down, and because I love you, here’s how you make one at home.
So, to make yourself a Grand Monster Mac, the first step is actually pretty simple. You’re going to need four Grand Macs; the new version of the Big Mac that’s quite a fair bit bigger. Delicious, yes, but resist the urge to eat your Grand Macs just yet. We’ve got work to do.
So to begin, take one of your Grand Macs, and separate the bottom part of the bun, including the bottom beef patty. Then, taking three more patties from your other three Grand Macs, stack them on top of that bottom patty you took out before. You now have the first half of your Grand Monster Mac.
For the second half, simply add the middle bun and patty from your first Grand Mac, and take the remaining patties and stack them on top of that burger. You should now have a top, middle and bottom bun with Big Mac sauce abundant, but where you had one beef patty to enjoy before, you now have four. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Grand Monster Mac. Here’s what it looks like in comparison to a regular Big Mac.
Look at it tower over your previous favorite burger at McDonald’s, which now looks shrunken and disheveled in comparison. You’ll notice that the Grand Monster Mac is a lot of beef, so my personal recommendation is that you load that bad boy with enough cheese, lettuce and Big Mac sauce as possible, so it goes down as smoothly as an entire cow’s worth of beef can go down. Happy eating, everyone! I have no doubt you’ll be Lovin’ It. Even if your nutritionist isn’t.