Most food joints are serving up heart-shaped, bright pink, or other love-themed creations to celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you’re not having heart-shaped pizza, you’re having a heart-shaped crepe, burger; you get the drill. I still have no idea as to why we use the “heart-shaped” when it’s not even shaped like a real heart. Talk about being cheated on.
It’s not that I don’t think we should be having heart-shaped food, I just think it’s a lazy expression of emotion, and is often ergonomically practical. Like heart-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwich – you think it’s cute, but you’ll change your mind once you try to eat it.
First, you’ll just get a mouthful of bread and disappointment, then you’ll take another bite and your mouth will be assaulted by the copious amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly that you have nowhere near enough bread to save you from, because you ate it all in the first bite.
Whoever you make or buy food for on Valentine’s Day will probably appreciate your food, no matter what the shape ( I wouldn’t even know where to begin with heart-shaped ramen). On shop in particular, however, is trying its utmost to defy the norms and banking on innuendos for one of their V-Day specials, literally selling blue balls to its (presumably) sexually frustrated customers.
Psycho Donuts in California’s South San Francisco Bay Area are the ones offering up the unique dough. They are sky blue, filled with a creamy custard, and topped with icing sugar. If you ever wanted to know what this colloquial expression tasted like, I don’t think you’ll get a more accurate representation than this.
In the Facebook post advertizing the treat, the shop wrote: “Spending this Valentines Day alone? We understand, We made some donuts just for you! These Blue Balls have a custard filling and powdered sugar. Come on in to Campbell and Santa Clara and grab some Balls.”
These donuts have been made specifically for people spending Valentine’s Day alone, but honestly, anybody with their heads in the gutter will get a good laugh out of eating these. Although, if you do think of these cream-filled doughnut holes as actual balls, they do sound a little less appealing… and a lot more painful.
As you can imagine, the comments for this story were as you expected. Under the post of Foodbeast’s article breaking the news, one wrote: “I’ve got a missus that gives me them I don’t need no bakery to rub it in,” and another said: “this donut shop looking out for you”.
One couple even proceeded to have a lover’s quarrel on the actual comments section. One lady mentioned her partner in the comments, and said: “what ur Bout to have with that attitude.” I do not want to be him right now. He sounds like he’s in the doghouse. Psycho Donuts will be offering the Blue Balls through at least Valentine’s Day at their Campbell and Santa Clara, CA locations.