Outback Steakhouse Respond To Claims They Are Being Masterminded By A Satanic Cult

When it comes to fast food, we all know that we’ve got plenty of options. There’s Arby’s, White Castle and Pizza Hut, not to mention KFC, Burger King, or McDonald’s. However, when it comes to getting marvellous morsels drowned in boiling oil for a borderline-illegal amount of deliciousness, I don’t think many franchises can come near to Outback Steakhouse.

Based in Tampa, Florida, Outback Steakhouse is one of the weirder concepts for fast food, standing out on its own as the only Australian-themed fast food joint in America. Among its offerings, it’s got full-flavored steaks, burgers and sweet potatoes… but could all that deliciousness come with a side of world domination?!

Despite being one of the most notorious secret organizations out there today, there’s still very little we know about the Illuminati. They were reportedly founded alongside the United States of America in 1776, where celebrities, world leaders and artists conspire to “further the prosperity of the human species”.

But, which of our favorite brands and celebrities are involved in this nefarious global conspiracy? Well, as of yet, there isn’t any concrete proof that our world is being controlled by a select group of people, some of whom may or may not be performing Satanic rituals.

If you know where to look, you’ll find clues of the Illuminati everywhere; from the ambiguous lyrics of a Beyoncé song, to the very design of our dollar bills, but is our precious food involved in the plot too? That’s what certain people are saying about the glorious fried food emporium that is Outback Steakhouse. They say that the curious placement of a selection of restaurants is strong proof that Outback Steakhouse is being masterminded by the Illuminati.

On Twitter, a single post by @eatmyaesthetics has sent the internet into meltdown, being retweeted nearly 120,000 times. The tweet depicted some Outback Steakhouse locations around the country, from New York to Indianapolis, and what they noticed was that the Steakhouses are arranged in a kind of pentagram shape.

Illuminati confirmed? If you ask Outback Steakhouse themselves, not quite, but the reality may be far, far worse. When the official Outback Steakhouse account caught wind of the conspiracy unfolding, they responded not with an outright dismissal or tongue-in-cheek tweet, but with a picture of their true plans: a giant Bloomin’ Onion.

God help us all. Is the implication that Outback Steakhouse might be the Machiavellian, mustache-twirling villains that secretly rule over our planet from the shadows? As far as I’m concerned, the jury is still out on that one, but in the meantime, I’m going to tuck into a steak or two or maybe even a Bloomin’ Onion. Unless… that’s exactly what they want me to do!

In a statement, Outback Steakhouse did little to quell the rumours of a Bloomin’ Onion of epic proportions by cheerfully declaring: “No plans, other than to bring bold steaks and Bloomin’ Onions to our guests!” Yeah… very reassuring. Just part of a humorous marketing plan, right? Totally harmless sounding, right? I’ve got my eye on you, Outback Steakhouse…

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