I don’t know if it’s a byproduct of growing up, but the older I get, the more the latest trends seem to annoy me. It was weird how nothing infuriated me more than seeing people flick their ring fingers against some plastic attached to some ball bearings between their thumb and index finger (ie. the extremely pointless Fidget Spinner), but I was more than okay with hoverboards growing up, featured in movies like Back to the Future Part II.
As food trends go, I am not as up-and-down with my feelings towards them. New food fads tend to boast nutritional (and sometimes even existential) benefits to your life, and more importantly, they have to at least kind of tasty in order to make it to consumers. I’m not sure about you, but I am always down for some good munch.
These days, for example, it’s considered much more on-trend to offer up all possible varieties of nut, rice and oat milk, with regular old green-capped semi-skimmed milk from a cow getting left in the dust.
Nothing against almond milk and company, of course. In fact, I really love the stuff. It just annoys me to no end every time the trendy stuff curdles when I go to heat it up for a coffee. Unless it’s in a smoothie, it doesn’t fit into my life. Other people seemed to have incorporated the alt-milk into their life a little better, and it’s got the makers of cow’s milk worried no one will buy their stuff anymore.
As a population, we’ve also started questioning milk-makers’ claims that the white stuff gives us stronger bones and makes us taller. As a result, milk producers are trying slightly more out-there techniques to make us want to down two pints of milk once more.
British dairy company Arla have announced plans to start selling sparkling fruit and milk drinks in the UK. Fizzy milk, essentially.
Thankfully, it is not expired milk, but it still feels weird rolling off the tongue. The milk producers plan to do this in an attempt to appeal to teenagers, because all teenagers love to be rebellious and make sure they are getting all the nutrients their parents tell them to.
The internet and social media being what it is today mean we have a younger, more ‘woke’ generation. This surely means the way businesses market their products to teens and Millennials needs to change as well.
I’d like to believe we’ve gone past the times of fabricating buzz words associated with teens and Millennials, assuming it would be enough to get them to buy your stuff, or click on your page. I’m pretty sure pizza cake and rainbow bagels are one-off things, but what do I know?
Of course, the fizzy milk drink will be suitably colored in Millennial pink, and will be made by mixing yogurt with fruit juice before being carbonated. It’s the creation of German biochemist Sven Thormahlen, alongside Matt Walker, who previously worked at Heinz.
The duo describe the milk as a type of whey with no fat. They’re recommending it for teens but they also suggest the drink could be used in cocktails. Arla plans to put the drink on sale in the UK first to assess the reaction, before they roll it out worldwide.
It’s part of a plan to fix a generational lack of interest in milk and boost Arla’s milk sales by 2020. This is not the first time that someone has tried to make fizzy milk a thing, however.
In 2014, the UK bore witness to Tango Strange Soda, a drink with very similar characteristics and ambitions, but one that ultimately tanked after poor sales figures. I guess fizzy milk tasted as bad as it sounds. No word on the taste of this new milk, or when it will actually reach our shelves. When it does, however, you’ll probably need to start eating your Rice Crispies with a pair of protective goggles. Stay safe, teens.