Apparently We’ve Been Making Mashed Potato Wrong Our Entire Lives

Who doesn’t love mash potato? It’s the best, right? It’s creamy, potato-y goodness on a plate and it simply cannot be beaten by anything else (other than maybe the king of potatoes, the roast potato). On a cold, wet and windy day, there is nothing more comforting than a big fat serving of sausage, mash and gravy to warm you up on the inside.

The other great thing about mash is that it’s easy to make. Pretty much everyone in the world follows the same recipe: simply boil up some potatoes till they’re soft, pour in some milk/cream and some melted butter and mash it all together, right? WRONG. You have been making mash wrong for your entire life, you silly people.

Well, at least, that is according to the chef Tyler Florence, who has shared his recipe for the ultimate mash potato, and it’s safe to say that not only is it massively different to the common recipe, but it also sounds absolutely delicious.

In his recipe, Tyler basically starts it off by insulting us, saying that when you pour the water from the boiling potatoes down the drain, you pour away all the flavor, because you are stupid, and that is what stupid people do.

“Potatoes have a really delicate, beautiful minerality to their flavor profile, and when you cook potatoes in water and you pour that water down the drain, you’ve extracted all the flavor of the potato.”

So… Tyler; if you’re so great, what do YOU do with your potatoes, huh?

“So what I do with mashed potatoes — because you finish them with cream and butter anyway, right? — is I’ll take that same cream and butter and add that to the potatoes and cook the potatoes in cream and butter.”

Sorry, what? Are you a lunatic? You cook the potatoes in cream and butter? You are an absolute madman, Tyler!

“So cold, peeled, chopped potatoes, cream, butter, and olive oil. I like garlic. I like sage and rosemary flavor combinations, and a little bit of thyme. When the potatoes are tender, I put a bowl on the counter and a colander inside that bowl. I pour the potatoes through the colander, and the cream will collect on the bottom. Then I’ll put the potatoes back into the pot and take the potato-infused garlic cream and fold that back into the potatoes, and it’s the most incredible flavor profile.”

Okay, Tyler, fair enough, this is beginning to sound pretty goddamn amazing.

“It’s the best mashed potato you’ll ever taste in your entire life.”

Wow, don’t blow your own trumpet, okay? Arrogance isn’t a nice trait to have.

So there we have it, thanks to Tyler Florence, we can all hang our heads in shame to the fact that we have all been making mash potato incorrectly for our entire lives. It’s out with the water and in with the butter and cream, which is going to be my new mantra for everything in life. Now, I’m off to have a glass of butter and cream, all this typing is thirsty work.

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