It’s rare to feel unconditional love. Whilst you’re duty bound to feel it towards the two people who gave you life, we all know that relationships, and just people in general can be downright difficult.
So being a self-proclaimed ice queen and all-around terrible person, I can only say that I have felt the pangs of unconditional love twice in my life, and it has been towards my dog and pizza.
I mean, who can honestly say that they’ve always been there for me like pizza has?
No one else has been by my side during the times that I have been in the depths of despair like the humble margarita. Certainly, pizza has nursed me through every form of disappointment conceivable – the roughest of breakups has been soothed by Dominos, and every work related woe has been made bearable by a slice of Papa Johns.
You can consequently imagine how devastated I was to learn that last week saw a veritable pizza tragedy: a pizza truck was involved in a crash on a highway in Arkansas, leaving hundreds of pizza fatalities.
Wednesday was a dark day for pizza lovers everywhere as a truck carrying hundreds of pizzas on Interstate 30 in Little Rock, Arkansas was involved in an accident. The truck was carrying pizzas from the Digiorno and Tombstone brand, which offers a range of delicious variations on the classic margarita, including garlic bread pizza and their bacon and cheese stuffed crust.
According to local news outlets, the 18-wheeled lorry veered into a bridge support and sliced open its trailer, unleashing the hoard of pizzas all across the interstate in front of Arkansas’ Department of Transportation office. Highway officials were forced to shut down westbound lanes of the cross-country interstate for four hours so crews could dispose of the pizzas. They caused such a mess, in fact, that a tractor had to be brought out to help dispose of the cheesey carcasses.
The highway, which travels through and around the south side of Little Rock, is normally very congested as it connects Arkansas to Dallas, and leads to Memphis and Tennessee.
Despite being dubbed as the “delicious disaster”, the crash only caused minor damage. A spokesman from Arkansas Department of Transportation, Danny Straessle, reported that the bridge only suffered cosmetic damage.
As of yet, there is no word on which grocery stores were affected by the accident. But here’s hoping that we’re not in for a nationwide shortage of frozen pizzas.
In any case, I think it’s appropriate for us all to take a moment in honour of all the pizzas that lost their lives in this tragic accident. RIP.
In less devastating news, an all Cheetos restaurant is due to open in New York and naturally foodies are getting very excited.