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8 Foods To Avoid Before Getting Down And Dirty In The Bedroom

Ah, sex. It's what makes the world go around. When it's good, it's really good and when it's bad, you wish you could erase your memory. While there's a lot of things which can cause things to go awry in the bedroom like a lack of chemistry and kinks that don't align, there's also a number of biological malfunctions which can make sexy times far from sexy.

Farting is probably the most obvious one. Whether one partner has female genitalia or if it's from a butt, an unexpected poof is a guaranteed mood killer - as is feeling bloated and too sleepy to do anything but the missionary position. So, in a bid to keep your sexy times sexy, we've compiled a list of foods that you should avoid before getting down and dirty.

1. Beans

Aside from the obvious fact that beans are famous for causing gas, they can also make you feel bloated. And considering how much more fun sex is when you're able to get a little acrobatic, well, they're one to avoid. According to a study published in Nutrition Journal, they contain a type of brown sugar that's not digestible - so bloating is pretty much inevitable.

2. Sweeteners

While they're innocent enough when it comes to calories, sweeteners, like beans, contain sugars that aren't digestible and therefore can cause a lot of bloating. I mean, can you imagine getting tied up with a bloated stomach? No thank you.

On the flip side of the coin, here are 10 brilliant foods that will naturally boost your sex drive!

3. Broccoli

There's also a bunch of veggies that are guaranteed to bloat you up including broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts. They all contain a sugar which isn't dissimilar to the one found in beans. Johns Hopkins Medicine's health library found that this sugar can't be digested without methane-releasing bacteria... I don't think I need to explain why that's a bad thing during sex.

4. Red Meat

While steak and red wine might sound like a dream dinner date for people gearing up to get down and dirty, red meat is fatty and it causes the body's digestive system to go into overdrive which, in turn, makes you sleep - and far from in the mood for sex.

5. Licorice

This, admittedly, is a bizarre one, but a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that licorice can bring about hormonal changes which can lower sex drive, so it's definitely a good idea to avoid it before sexy times!

6. Cheese

Given that a whopping 75% of people are lactose intolerant, the inclusion of cheese on this list probably won't come as a surprise. After all, most of us have a hard time digesting dairy products, and no one wants to be bloated and gassy in the bedroom.

7. Alcohol

Yeah, don't worry, I'm wincing as I write this. While most of us can attest to engaging in drunk sex more than a few times, even in moderation, alcohol isn't a good idea when you're planning on retiring to the bedroom. This is because it can make you sleepy, depending on your constitution, and if you're a beer drinker, you have the added danger of it making you gassy.

8. Gum

Sure, we all want to have minty fresh breath before getting down and dirty, but there's a downside to chewing gum before a close encounter: it can cause flatulence - and let's face it, that will ruin the mood no matter how fresh your breath is.

So there you have it - eight foods to avoid before whipping out the lube and rope. Okay, maybe that's just me, but seriously, sex should be fun, and while biological slip-ups are inevitable in long-term relationships, if you're having a casual encounter, the last thing you want is for your last meal to make it the last time you see the person who could be your next bae.